Thinking about Cheating: Is it Ok? Why desire?

If we put it in simple words, cheating is just like a violation or relationship killer. It’s challenging to understand why people cheat online. The desire to do so isn’t abnormal after spending much time with the same person.

You’ll find such thoughts scary about the special one in your life, but that doesn't mean your relationship is doomed. You need guidance and assurance of what you are going through. At some point, you might be wondering, why am I thinking about cheating in dating? And you want to know if my partner is cheating on me?

Let's say you have a cool relationship with your girlfriend or boyfriend, but sometimes, various thoughts come to your mind, like, “Why do I want to cheat? Is my relationship doomed? Should I cheat?” To help you understand complex thoughts, we have organized a detailed guide on each step.

What Drives the Desire of Cheating?

Cheating is scary in one way and insecure for some people in other ways. These insecurities require actions that ultimately provide relief for such persons. An individual with months of an old relationship may develop a desire to cheat. But why do people double-cross their partner?

Research has revealed some statistics and shows that cheating isn't just an affair, but its patterns are more complex than we think. Moreover, an analysis of the real-time couples resulted in the following reasons:

• Lack of love
• Sexual desire
• Low commitment
• Anger
• Neglect
• Situation or circumstances

Why Is Someone Thinking About Cheating In Dating? There isn't a single reason why you are thinking about cheating in dating. You might be believing your partner isn't giving you the love you deserve, but this doesn't explain a specific reason for ditching.

The urge to cheat your partner comes with guilt, shame, or self-doubt. These feelings enable you to regret what you have done. However, the following reasons define why you think, “Should I cheat?”

• Anger or Revenge: It occurs when someone feels betrayed or frustrated in a dispute. Such people may have cheating thoughts and become confused about their feelings.
• Lack of Emotional Connection: A relationship without a healthy connection is risky, and partners may hurt each other's feelings. When they feel disconnected, he/she might think, “I want to cheat on my gf,” or “I want to cheat on my bf.”
• Dopamine Rush: The dopamine hormone in our body causes a rush of falling in love that may not last long. After this, the person may feel the desire or urge to cheat on their partner.
• Anxiety: One of the reasons why you feel like cheating on someone is because of anxiety. Mostly, it is because of continuous stress on your relationship.

These reasons explain different situations when you are thinking about cheating in dating. After knowing the reasons, here arises a question: who cheats more? Is it a guy or a girl? Let's explore such confusion and guilt in the next sections.

Do Men And Women Feel The Same Guilt About Cheating?

According to a marriage and family therapist, Jeff Yoo, “Cheating isn't always seen as having a sexual affair; it could include developing a close emotional relationship with another person.”

He further explains, “In a committed relationship, we usually consider the pair one-on-one in action, thought, and goal setting. When we use a person outside of the relationship for a sounding board or decision-making that may be seen or felt like a betrayal.”

An experiment was done for scientific research on cheating in dating that demonstrates exceptional results. About 62% of the participants accept affection as a cause to be interested in someone else. However, about 61% were engaged sexually with persons other than their partner.

When someone thinks, why I want to cheat, the emotional fluctuations cause guilt in them when they think of leaving the person they love. Here, the question arises: who feels guiltier for having such thoughts? We’ll explain these things based on the following factors;

Societal Expectations

Maureen Johnson states, “Guilt is a weight that will crush you whether you deserve it or not.” In our society, men are usually considered dominant and less emotionally attached and thus considered more lenient when it comes to cheating. These social expectations greatly impact the guilt felt by men and women.

Emotional Attachment Styles

The attachment style built at the onset of any relationship expresses how men or women will feel when thinking about cheating in dating. Different attachment styles include anxious, secure, disorganized, avoidant, etc.

Women are often considered caretakers, explaining that they can develop stronger emotional bonds than males. Because of this stronger emotional expression, women and men may feel guilt differently based on the attachment style.

Biological Factors

Although there is some literature explaining who feels more guilt for cheating, it is still unexplored. As per biological research, men and women may feel guilty depending on some obvious reasons.

A male is predicted to feel guiltier when we imagine emotional infidelity. But women will feel guiltier when we imagine sexual infidelity. This brain chemistry and differences may lead to different results.

Oxytocin is a bonding hormone that might make women feel guilty. This is because females produce more of this hormone than males.

Personality Traits

Some personality traits include empathy and the ability to share or understand the feelings of others. Women are recorded to have these feelings, which proves that they feel guiltier than men.

Aside from all these observations, we see men as well as women cheat on their partners and feel nothing. It is because the feeling of guilt isn't connected with the gender but the circumstances.

However, studies show that women have higher rates of shame and guilt or men have higher rates of guilt or shame depending on the conditions. In one scenario, a woman may not feel guilty, but the men do, while in another scenario, men don't feel guilty, but women do.

What Should I Do if I Feel the Urge to Cheat?

Having an urge to cheat on your partner is a normal thing. As we mentioned above, it may occur because of various reasons. Maybe your partner isn't showing interest, providing value or physical needs.

You might feel insecure and start to think, “I want to cheat on my wife” or “I want to cheat on my husband.” You can avoid having such thoughts by focusing on these things in a relationship.

Communication

Most of the cheating happens because of communication gaps between couples or partners. Sharing what you are feeling or going through might help restore your relationship with your partner.

Setting Boundaries

When dating, you must set boundaries between your relationship and friendship. Limit your interaction with people you feel attracted to, or join a group of friends instead. This will lower your urge to cheat on your partner and strengthen your bond.

Being Honest

Honesty is a must when you want to have a healthy relationship. Start by scheduling date nights, expressing gratitude, and focusing on your partner's efforts.

Pathways to Loyalty

If you are willing to have a strong relationship with your partner, there are some alternative ways that you can follow. Try openly communicating with your partner and sharing your problems and happiness.

When needed, you must consult a professional in a judgment-free environment. Share your difficulties or struggles with them, and they'll provide advice and support accordingly.

Building a Stronger Bond

Being expressive and communicative can strengthen a bond. Focus on your partner or spouse, be supportive, and communicate on a daily basis. When you spend quality time with them, listen to their needs and problems, share your concerns, and express your love, you can overcome your thinking about cheating in dating.

What happens if I cheat?

If you are thinking about cheating in dating, you must know the consequences it will bring to your table. Everything you do has some consequence either good or bad. The following are those things you'll suffer from cheating on your partner.

Emotional Pain and Future Relationships

When you are in a relationship, cheating can have several forms, like how you meet your partner, what type of relationship you are executing, or whether you are communicative or not. But the effects of cheating have severe damage on your relationship. It causes emotional pains that also lead to disturbed future relationships.

Trust Torn Asunder

As per the research, one in every five married couples has cheated, and both parties are equally hurt. Thinking of cheating in dating can cause severe damage to your relationship. It involves emotional wounds, triggered feelings, anxiety, anger, etc. Damaged trust and self-esteem are the main things that happen after cheating.

Heartbreak Horizon: Emotional Fallout

Cheating has long-term damage no matter what type of relationship you have with your partner. This trauma can follow you and remain for years. If someone is in a marriage relationship, their dispute or cheating may also affect the mental health of their children.

How Do I Find Out My Partner is Cheating?

No matter how loyal you are with your gf/bf or husband/wife, everyone has the potential to cheat. At some point in a relationship, you'll feel an urge to cheat your partner.

If you are in a relationship, your partner might be cheating you with someone else. At this point, you can track all your partner's cellphone activity. For this, we recommend using the best remote tracking tool; Spyphone.

Features

• A free tracker for over 30 cell phone activities
• Call monitoring, including viewing and tracking all call logs
• Track activities or spy on your partner without any installation
• Text message tracking to read all SMS or iMessage
• Social media tracking, including WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram, etc.
• No logo or icon on the target phone
• Compatible with all mobile models

Pros

• Free to track activities on the targeted phone
• No installation required
• Track with one click without downloading
• Spy your partner without letting them know

Cons

Visibility still needs to be improved

If you see your partner thinking about cheating in dating, you can use software to track all the cell phone activities. Among all the trackers, we recommend Spyphone as a beneficial free-of-cost option.

How to catch?

Step1: First, create an account by entering your valid email address.

Step2: Choose the phone model you want to track: android or iOS.

Step3: Choose the method to connect the targeted phone and start monitoring.

Conclusion about Cheating

Thinking about cheating in dating is a warning sign of something happening in your relationship. The best way to cope with it is to know the reasons and find appropriate solutions. But if you're not sure whether your bf/gf is cheating on you or not, you can use Spyphone to track your partner's cell phone without any cost. If you feel like some tips about dating or cheating, you can comment below.