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How to Forgive a Cheater: 6 Ways to Rebuild Trust

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Sydney Camacho

If someone has ever cheated on you, you know the feeling. Cheating is a devastating experience. It shatters the trust in the relationship and makes you lose faith in people.

 

Cheating is not a phenomenon of our days. It has existed since the formation of human relationships. But, nowadays, in our web-enmeshed world, infidelity seems to be easier and thus growing in numbers.

Wife annoyed with husband looking at his phone in bed

The most crucial question around the matter, though, is if cheating is forgivable and how to forgive a cheater. Here, you will find the answer to that, along with six practical ways to rebuild trust in your relationship. That is if you want to sustain it.

 

So, let’s find out how do you forgive someone who cheated on you.

 

Can You Truly Forgive Someone for Cheating?

 

Well, that depends on many factors. It has to do with your standards, how much you love the other person, if you have built or see a future together and how the other party feels about you and their affair.

 

Some people believe that infidelity doesn’t have to necessarily lead to the end of a marriage or an established relationship. On the other hand, other people view cheating as a red line that can’t be crossed, and the only solution is to split parts.

 

Let’s explore the pros and cons of forgiving someone who cheated to see both of the two stances in more depth.

 

The Pros

 

Although infidelity can severely damage the bond between two people, progressing beyond that can have some benefits. These may be:

 

Letting Go of Unpleasant Emotions

 

Betrayal generates feelings of anger, resentment, sadness and a need to take revenge. And it’s understandable. However, if these feelings are left unresolved for long, they may backfire on you in many ways.

 

Forgiveness allows you to take on that healing journey and repair your broken heart. It’s an act of love, firstly towards yourself and then towards the cheater.

 

Addressing Underlying Issues

 

More often than not, infidelity is only the tip of the iceberg. It is a symptom of other more serious matters.

 

Forgiveness passes through the road of identifying those issues and dealing with them effectively. Whether they come from the cheater’s side or yours. How to forgive someone for cheating if you don’t find and solve the deep-rooted problems that caused it in the first place?

 

Seeing a Future With Your Significant Other

 

Sometimes, divorce is not a viable solution. There are many things at stake, and not everyone is ready to let go of the time and effort they have invested in a marriage or a serious relationship.

 

To really see a chance of a potential future together, you must try forgiving your other half. And it is your right.

 

Woman seeking attention from husband

The Cons

 

Now, let’s see the other side of the story. The cons of forgiving someone you cheated on you.

 

They Have Decided To Leave

 

Sometimes, there is nothing you can do. Your husband may have decided to end it and begin a new chapter with their affair. In this case, whether you are willing to forgive them or not doesn’t weigh much or make a difference.

 

Still, though, you should give it a try and forgive them to ensure peace in your soul.

 

Constant Hurtful Reminders and Nitpicking

 

Cheating changes the dynamic of a relationship, and staying with a cheater is a challenging task.

 

To forgive is not equal to forgetting. You may find yourself bringing up the infidelity every now and then, undermining the effort to forgive them and destroying the ambience.

 

You may also succumb to extreme fault-finding because this is your way of adjusting to the decision of staying and trying to forgive them.

 

Saying No to Better Options for You

 

Forgiving a cheater results in sustaining a relationship with someone who betrayed your trust. This means that you exclude someone out there who can be a better partner for you. And who can treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

 

So, before asking yourself how to forgive someone for cheating, make sure that this is what you really want out of life.

 

A cheater holding his crying wife head

How to Forgive a Cheater After Cheating

 

So, now that you know the basic pros and cons of forgiveness, let’s proceed to the core part: How do you forgive someone for cheating?

 

Here are six effective ways to rebuild your relationship through forgiveness.

 

Feel All The Feelings

 

Take some time to sit in the feelings of wrath, sadness, resentment, and bitterness. Feel the pain of betrayal to the core.

 

Avoid any impulsive reactions. You need to experience all the unpleasant emotions deeply to proceed to the next step.

 

Have a (Brutally) Honest Communication

 

First, one with yourself. Dig deep. Did you have your merit in that situation? Are you happy with your life? Does the relationship fulfil your needs?

 

When you are done with yourself, have a sincere dialogue with your partner. Why did he cheat on you? Was it just a fling, or is it a serious affair? Why did they choose infidelity instead of respecting the relationship and being open about it?

 

Honest communication will unveil the underlying problems and help you address them. It will also help you reveal your true selves to each other.

 

Set New Boundaries

 

Re-establishing trust after infidelity requires new boundaries, especially from the person cheated on. It’s not that the betrayed will have the upper hand after the truth is revealed. Although it may seem that way.

 

Re-affirming your boundaries after cheating means that you state your needs clearly and demand them to be respected by the predator. This will allow you to start the forgiving process, feel better about yourself and see practical signs of remorse from your husband’s side.

 

Seek Professional Help

 

How do you forgive a cheater if not with the help of a professional? Couples therapy can do wonders, provided that both of you are willing to change yourselves and your relationship dynamic.

 

During these sessions, you can discuss all the underlying issues with a specialised counsellor, deal with them effectively and rebuild the lost trust and glamour of your bond.

 

Do a Love Map

 

Ok, this is a brilliant exercise to be done in pairs. It’s about asking each other up to sixty questions about what you like and dislike. This fun game is played in a calm atmosphere - is not to be seen as an interrogation, and reminds each party of the person they initially fell in love with.

 

It helps them reconnect emotionally, laugh, talk and explore. At the end of the game, a prize is suggested to be delivered. This can be a trip, a dinner out or a present.

 

The Love Map game is an effective way to begin forgiving your cheating husband.

 

Invest In Yourself

 

Often a serious relationship or marriage sucks all your energy, leaving you little or no time at all to invest in yourself. When you are on the path to “how to forgive your cheater?” instead of focusing on them, start focusing more on you.

 

Invest more in yourself. Aim at progressing your career, taking up a new training class, changing your haircut, and mingling with old friends and acquaintances. Balance your nutrition, hit the gym, focus on skincare, and meditate.

 

Do whatever brings you joy and elevates your spirit. Forgiveness and healing will come more quickly if you feel good about yourself.

 

Man holdning woman hands to rebuild trust

The One Crucial Way to Forgive a Cheater

 

If you decide to split parts after cheating, it’s ok. And it's pretty understandable. But if you want to give your relationship a second chance and forgive the cheater, this is the one crucial way to do it properly.

 

Keep Transparent: Using Couple Phone Cheating Trackers

 

Ok, you may have done all the work and have their word that they won’t stray again. But the trauma is still there, and you don’t want to relive a similar experience. In that case, using a couple’s phone cheating tracker like SpyPhone is the best solution for you. Transparency is key after cheating, and this app promotes it.

 

Let’s break it down into pieces.

 

What is SpyPhone?

Screenshot of SpyPhone homepage

SpyPhone, in a nutshell, is a spy app. It gives you distant access to your spouse’s phone, 24/7, to monitor all the activity on their device. Illicit or not.

 

SpyPhone’s Features

 

This app investigator is all you need. Here is why:

 

  • SpyPhone allows you full access to your partner’s phone.
  • It is free of any charge or subscription.
  • It is undetectable. Works always in stealth mode.
  • You’ll only need your email and your husband’s email to start monitoring.
  • It’s brutally easy to use, with a user-friendly interface.
  • It gives you real-time control.
  • It works on any device - either using iOS or Android software.
  • With SpyPhone, you get to see:
  • All their call logs.
  • All their messages.
  • All their emails (even those in the trash bin).
  • All the apps installed on their phone (especially any dating apps).
  • All their activity on Social Media (likes, hearts, following lists, story viewing, etc.)
  • All their communication on Instant Messaging Apps (Viber, WhatsApp, etc).
  • All data on their Photo Library (photos, screenshots, videos).
  • All their browsing history (incognito mode and bookmarks included).
  • Their location (in real time).
Spyphone monitoring function demo

Practically, it will be like you’ll have a 24/7 eye on their phone without them knowing it. Isn’t that awesome?

 

A Step-by-Step Guide on SpyPhone

 

  1. Visit the SpyPhone landing page.
  2. Sign up by entering your valid credentials (email and password).
  3. Choose the device you want to monitor (either iOS or Android function).
  4. Insert your husband’s email - the one connected to their phone.
  5. Start monitoring.

 

See? As easy as a pie. But, way more beneficial.

 

How Can SpyPhone Help You To Forgive a Cheater?

 

Well, the answer is pretty obvious, don’t you think? With SpyPhone, you have the perfect tool to monitor your husband’s phone and make the forgiving process much easier.

 

If you check on their messages, calls, emails, browsing history and location when you feel the need to and see that there’s nothing suspicious going on, then you can rebuild trust more easily and more quickly.

 

While consulting a therapist and working on your glow-up, SpyPhone can give you the needed proof to continue down the road of forgiveness and reviving your marriage. So, all the work will have a meaning and really worth it.

 

So, what are you waiting for? Start your healing journey with an ally by your side. SpyPhone is the key to the door of forgiveness.

 

FAQs

 

Can You Truly Forgive Someone for Cheating?

 

Yes, it is possible to forgive someone for cheating, but it depends on the individuals involved and the depth of the betrayal. Forgiveness is a personal choice. And it often takes time, emotional healing, and addressing any underlying issues.

 

Some people can move past infidelity, especially if the cheater is genuinely remorseful and both partners are committed to rebuilding trust. However, forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean the relationship will return to how it was before. Once the glass is broken, the crack always remains there, even if you glue it back together.

 

Can a Relationship Go Back to Normal After Cheating?

 

A relationship may never go back to exactly how it was before the cheating. But in life, everything changes constantly, and the relationship can evolve into something new.

 

In some cases, it may grow stronger if both parties are willing to put into it the effort needed and work on the issues that lurk beneath cheating. Trust needs to be rebuilt, which requires time, effort, and consistent honesty. Individual or couples therapy is more often than not essential for both parties to move forward.

 

Some couples create a deeper bond after overcoming such a challenge, while others may find that they are unable to repair the relationship, even after doing the work.

 

How Long Should It Take to Forgive a Cheater?

 

There is no straightforward answer to that nor a set timeline for forgiving a cheater.

 

Once again, it depends on the severity of the betrayal, the emotional impact on the betrayed partner, and the sincerity of the cheater's remorse. For some, forgiveness may come relatively quickly, while for others, it can take months or even years.

 

Some may not be able to forgive the cheater even after splitting. They hang on to the betrayal for a long time, and this trauma may affect the way they relate to others from there and on.

 

When Should You Walk Away From a Cheater?

 

Well, you should definitely consider walking away from a cheater if they continue to cheat or show no remorse. Or if you find that trust simply cannot be rebuilt. Discovering infidelity in the first stages with the SpyPhone Tracker can work to your benefit.

 

If you are wondering what he is being up to when away from home, if you are acting jealous, nitpicking them constantly and reminding them frequently of their infidelity, then you should call it a night and leave the relationship. Your sanity matters more than anything else.

 

Do Cheaters Feel Bad When Caught?

 

Not all cheaters indeed feel genuine remorse. Some may only regret being caught rather than their behavior. The cheater's reaction depends on their character, the circumstances of the infidelity, and their level of emotional maturity.

 

However, some cheaters do feel bad when caught, experiencing guilt, shame, or remorse, especially if they didn’t intend to hurt their partner or if they are genuinely sorry for their actions.

 

Make sure you discern in which category your cheater is.

 

Conclusion

 

There you have it! If you have been wondering how to forgive a cheater, then you know the way and the pros and cons of doing it. And you also have six effective ways to rebuid trust in your relationship if you decide you can actually forgive them.

 

However, before going down that road, have your back covered. Use SpyPhone to have full, seamless and real-time access to your partner’s phone to detect any signs of infidelity early on. Or checking if he remains faithful to you after straying. This way, you’ll have the proof you need - and peace of mind.

 

Whatever you choose, be proactive and make the most of what SpyPhone has to offer you. Be one step ahead. Relationships are investments, and as such, you should see an app like SpyPhone too.

 

Before you leave, take some time to share your thoughts on infidelity and your experience with using SpyPhone.

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SOFTWARE INTENDED FOR LEGAL USE ONLY. You are required to notify users of the device that they are being monitored. Failure to do so is likely to result in violation of applicable law and may result in severe monetary and criminal penalties ...imposed on the violator. You s hould consult your own legal advisor with respect to legality of using the SpyPhone Software in your jurisdiction prior. SpyPhone shall not be responsible if you choose to monitor a device without being permitted to, nor can SpyPhone provide legal advice on the use of the monitoring software.